A New Blog Site!

As many of you know, I will be joining Children of the Nations at their international office in Silverdale, WA. I will be moving on Labor Day weekend and ready to start that following week! I'm really excited about this new position, not only will I be working for this great organization for another year, but I will also have to opportunity to continue the work I spent this past year doing! As in most organizations, there is always more work than people to do it! So that's where I come in!
In the beginning I will be working in the communications department to help prepare for COTN's big benifit season, which is in October. On September 10, we will also be welcoming Quami Agbermodji and three of our children, Eddie, Massah and Tejan, from Sierra Leone. They will be here for the benifits and I'm excited to be able to help host them! After the benifit season is over I will be working more on the educational side of things. There is another woman, who has taught for years, and her and I will be working together to develop an educational department. Since this is a new area for COTN, my job description will be changing and developing along with it. Having spent a year in the Sierra Leone school system gives me a great amount of insight into what this department should look like and will allow the work I spent this past year doing to continue. I will also have the opportunity to return to Sierra Leone within the next year and possibly lead my own team down there! I will also be getting into schools in the states to raise awareness, gain support, and create connections between the schools here and the school there.
As you have probably guessed, I will be raising support for an additional year. COTN is a non-profit, faith based organization, therefore, all the funds that come through must be raised somewhere. This is one of the things I appreciate about COTN though. Many of the larger organizations that are supporting children, pay there people through the fund that come as support for the children. With COTN, the support raised for the kids, goes to the kids, which is exactly how it should be. So there you have it. As this kind of support is crucial, more importantly I will need a lot of prayer support. This past year, I felt so blessed by all your prayers and I realized how essential that is. Please partner with me in this area of prayer.

If you are interested in supporting me finiancially, you can do this by checking out the COTN website, and clicking on make a donation. There is a section for missionary support and all you have to do is enter my name and the amount you wish to support. You have to choice of having this directly taken from your account or you can send a check to the office in Silverdale. If you would like to support me monthly, you also have that option online.

As my role will be changing, I will also be changing my blog site, to continue keeping you updated on what is happening in my life! The new site will be called Not So Far Removed, and the address is http://nsfr.blogspot.com
Below is my final letter that I sent out to my supporters, if you are interested, please read it. Thank you for your interest in the work being done through Children of the Nations, I have been so blessed and thankful for the way the Lord has used me to serve and is continueing to do so.

My Dear Friends and Family,

I began writing this letter to you while I was still in Sierra Leone, with the hopes that it would be ready to send to you upon my arrival. Well, you know how things are, so after two weeks of being home, here it is.

I am back home with many bittersweet emotions. Some would say that my journey has come to an end and others would say it is only just beginning. I guess it depends on how you look at things. I have spent many hours this past month reflecting on my time in Sierra Leone. It is quite impossible to condense it onto one page and in some ways that just doesn’t seem right. So I’ll try to share with you this land I have called home for the past year, my “Sweet Salone.”

I have to recognize my wonderful partner who was a huge support to me. Sarah Saunier is also a teacher from the great state of Colorado. I know that it is no mistake that God placed us together this year and I am so thankful that God took care of that little detail that could have made a major difference in the success of this year.

Our job description titled us as “teacher associates.” That played out in a variety of ways. On a day to day basis we went to school (in our lovely green uniforms) and observed the teachers, interacted with the kids, and provided accountability to the teachers. About every week we conducted teacher in-services on a variety of topics ranging from lesson planning to reading strategies to basic teacher professionalism. The change that needs to take place in the Sierra Leonean school system is not going to take place overnight, but we know there is hope when we see a child begin to read or when we see a teacher disciplining his student without degrading them. It was truly those little successes that we had to cling to.

While we were teachers, we were at times care-givers, secretaries, drivers, cooks, friends, etc. We were fortunate to have a lot of freedom with our time so we were able to spend countless hours with the kids during free-time or walk down to the village when we were in Banta. There was even a time when we became the personal assistants for Rev. Angie Myles, the country director. As Americans, we look at success as completing something-- it’s all about the product, but for us it was about the relationships we built with people, those things that are intangible and it is those moments I would never trade.

We split our time between two vastly different places. We were in Marjay Town, which is where the children’s home is, near Freetown, the capital city. And we were also in a place called Banta Mokelleh, which is our up-country location, otherwise known as “the bush.” Our home in Marjay Town houses 88 orphaned children who are now receiving the care and nurturing they need to survive. Our house was located about 100 yds. behind the children’s home, so we really never left work. We always had little eyes peaking out at us, seeing what we were doing.

Banta Mokelleh… the place that stole my heart. I was always so amazed at how two places could be in the same country and yet have such different cultures. Living in Banta was definitely more difficult but I loved staying there. Life is so simple and you always have time for people. The school is only three years old there, so you can image what having an 18 year old and a 9 year old in the same class can mean for teachers. The teachers there have an extremely difficult job, but they love it and are so willing to learn and improve themselves. This next year the children’s home in Marjay Town will be moving to Banta, to create a more family-like environment.

As one experiences such poverty, destitute situations, pain and hurt, you can’t help but ask, where is God in all this, and does He see this? How can I come from a first world country where we always have clean, running water, electricity, a full belly and someone else can come from a third world country where there is no clean drinking water, there is no electricity and a full belly is only a dream. But the thing we have to reconcile with is the fact that it is only by grace. It is nothing we’ve done; it’s nothing they’ve done. God has given us what we have, how ever much or little that may be, only because He loves us. In our home in Marjay Town we have a little girl named Phoebe who has cerebral palsy. She doesn’t speak, she does walk, she isn’t able to do anything and yet God loves her just as much as He loves me and you. There is nothing we can do to deserve it, there’s nothing Phoebe has done, it is a gift, and it is we who decide how much we are going to receive of it.

What is next for me? I have accepted a position at the international office in Silverdale, WA. My title will still be Associate, but that will look much different from the last time. COTN desires to develop an education department for all the countries they operate out of. Their vision is to develop standards for all their schools, create partnerships between schools here and schools there, and mobilize more teacher teams to go down and train their teachers. This is an exciting way for me to continue the work I have been doing, to create ways of lasting change in the people we work with. Having said that, COTN is a non-profit organization and all the money that comes in for them goes to the children they serve. So, yes I need to raise support again for this year. What I am looking for are people who would be interested in supporting me on a monthly basis. If you are interested in doing that I have placed a support slip and an envelope in with this letter to help make that possible.

This year has been such a blessing on my life and the love and support that you have all shown throughout the year has meant so much. Your prayers really did reach all the way across the ocean, and I knew that I was always covered in prayer over there! Please continue to keep Sierra Leone and COTN in your prayers. There is so much that needs to be done, but we won’t be able to do any of it if we aren’t supported in prayer. I wish I could say more than thank-you, but the English language is a bit limiting. So, “Bika-way,” which is the deepest form of gratitude spoken in the Mende language.
With Deep Appreciation,
Kristen Bolender

The Difference Is...

Everyone asks when you come back, "So, What is the difference?"

Five words...21 letters...

It doesn't seem fair. I have so much that I could say.

Does the person want an answer that corresponds in brevity to their own question?

If so, "Everything. It's all different"

And that still has too many letters.

Does the person have the necessary time for what would begin to approach an acceptable answer?

Is it rude for me to ask if they actually want to know or if they are asking because it is expected?

The most honest of answers would probably be something like...

"I'm not entirely sure yet. There are still things that I am rediscovering here that I'd forgotten. There are things that I think about back "at home" in, Sierra Leone as I have found myself referring to it since my return, that I am already missing."

But even if I were to respond to the very best of my abilities how can I explain the multitude of differences between my two homes. I am sure that I don't have the knowledge of language or the ability to paint a picture that would encompass these two worlds. I could just as soon explain to a blind man what color is, when there is no real way to describe color, as explain to my friends and family here, many of whom have never stepped out of the States, what it is like to go to the market on a Saturday morning, it is the equivalent to describing color. We just don't have the same language or memories to relate to in order to understand.

The difference is...

...


...


Where to start?...

The roads are dirt and all of your clothes turn a fun shade of orange, as soon as you step outdoors.

Think about going to a farm. Out in the country. And not one of the high tech. farms. Think of the mom and pop farms. The ones with the rocking chairs on the front porch and the sweet pale lemonade in an old glass pitcher waiting to break your thirst in two. Think about that kind of a farm. Think about what happens when it rains and the yard turns into a muddy patch of nothingness. Remember what it was like to run to your car, raindrops drenching your best Sunday dress. And when you sat down in your car, wiped the cold drops of water from your brow, and looked down. That is what Sierra Leone is like. When you look down and realize that your primping and your bathing, your curling and your polish, has been taken away in the five yards between your screened in porch and the old vinyl seat of your beat up pickup truck. That feeling of wonder and frustration, not knowing if you will ever be able to get out that old Georgia clay. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

The poor and beggars inhabit the street corners, the road home, the hill behind your house, the market that you shop at, the entrance to your work, the everywhere you look, all day, everyday.

Think about that time that you were getting off the highway and you saw that old dirty worthless man. "How does a person get to this point?” you ask yourself. "That would never happen to me. I wouldn't let it. I wouldn't get to the point where I have to rely on others to provide me with clothes, food, and shelter. That person must have no initiative. That person has given up. I would never be like that." And you looked the other way and stepped a little harder on the gas when the light turned green because that makes the problem go away and God forbid that the person approach you for help because like an infectious disease, like the plague or the pox, this person may spread whatever lackluster spirit-crushing sickness that has so infected them onto your person. Now multiply that one person. Raise that person to the n exponent. Surround yourself with that person and no green lights. Take away that person’s overnight shelter. Take away their food pantries. Take away their Red crosses and their ability to write a sign pleading for help. Take that away with that many people. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

The noise. The great cacophony of noise. Surrounding you. Creating a cocoon that never breaks. Strike up the orchestra of dogs, generators, horns beeping, helicopters passing overhead, late night stereo's blaring, children screaming, people calling, cars squealing, goats bleating,...

Think about the time your six year old was having a Disney princess sleepover with ten of her closest friends, while your droll teenager was out in the garage with his band buddies practicing their latest remake of an old Kiss album, and your crying baby takes up one arm while the phone rings and the pizza man is at the door. Don't forget about Rover who desperately needs to get out to make a deposit on the back sidewalk and won't stop barking until he gets his way and the airport that has just completed it's new runway and has been running test flights at regular thirty minute intervals to ensure the safety of all those landings that will soon be zooming over your head. Insert that into your cookie cutter neighborhoods, into your carefully patrolled burroughs. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

The greetings. The smiles. The children running to grab your hands. The wrinkled old vegetable women asking how your day was. The bare chested guard asking when your friends will be visiting next. The taxi man who tells you about his wife and children and driving a taxi for thirty-two years. The lorry driver who slows down enough that you can jump on and save some money on a bright and sunny day. The gimp old man in his white plastic chair who calls out a respectful greeting or the sun shaded young block maker who yells white man.

Think about going to visit your relatives when you were a child for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Think about the feeling of anticipation that you have when you woke up the morning of the trip. You could hardly sleep because you knew that you got to go see the grandma who makes frosted cookies and lets you eat the dough. The grandfather who lets you sit on his lap for a football game and teaches you which are the good guys and which are the bad guys. The uncles who take you out after a belly busting meal and teach you how to hit a baseball or work a half-nelson. The aunts who just can't believe how big you've gotten and want to know about the little cute red-headed girl at school. Remember what it was like to get in the car and never get there. To have that feeling of knowing you are going to a place where you will be greeted and fawned upon. Loved by all who inhabit your space. It is a feeling of being special. It is a feeling of acceptance. It is a feeling that each person that you interact with is glad to see you. It is a feeling that happens each time you open your door and walk onto the street. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

That people go from strangers to acquaintances to friends in lightning fast time because you never know how long this person you are meeting is going to be in the country. A week. A month. Six months. A year. The evolution of friendship gets put on warp drive because it has to or else who are you going to share your life with.

Think about someone who has been told they don’t have long to live. They realize that there is so much to do in life and there may not be time enough to get the things done that they wish to accomplish. Think about the desire they have to see new places, correspond with old friends, have adventures, cherish love, live every moment of everyday to it's fullest because their moments are numbered. In my home we are living something that mimics this proclamation. We don't know how long we have with a person. And we may not have time to stretch out an acquaintancship over weeks or months as we might here in the states. There you ask a person's name, what they do in Freetown, and how they managed to make it to such a place and the person is then well on their way to becoming a friend. If you hang out a second time then the relationship is established. After three times you are old pals and forever after that each meeting only adds to the bond that is now something you will remember for the rest of your life. Squeezing in so much into a short amount of time. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

That everyone and everything you have known and cherished is out of reach. Few e-mails and fewer phone calls don't mean that people have forgotten you but an incredible thing happens. While your adventure takes place...other people are still living their own lives. While it would be interesting to see what happens if everyone else's life gets put on hold when you are not around, this doesn't happen.

Think about when you went to summer camp for the first time. Can you remember how dark it was at night. Odd sounds and weird shadows. Your brain screaming at your prone body to jump right off your squeaky rusty bunk bed and sprint, not walk, not run, but sprint to the phone and dial in a blaze of fingers your home phone number which marches through your head, just to hear your mom or dad say, "Hello? Who is calling at 1 in the morning?" You are more than willing to risk the admonition from the counselors and the heckling from your fellow campers if you can just talk to your family for a moment, for that briefest of times that would allow you to know they haven't forgotten you and that, while they are still living their life, they do miss you and look forward to your return. That is what it is like.

The difference is...

Too vast to explain. And yet... both places are now home. I look forward to being in one place while I'm in the other. Last night I dreamt I was shopping at the market in Freetown. I spoke and heard Krio as I bartered with the local store owners. Months before I came back to the states I started having dreams about places I used to work here, people I used to hang out with, my church, my friends, my family. Everyday since I have been back I have converted most of the prices that I've seen into Leones. For ten months my brain acted like my own little bank and worked out how much I was paying in dollars with most purchases. Everyday since I've been back I've thought about the friends that are in Sierra Leone. Everyday that I was there I thought about the people that I had left and counted the months until I got to see them again.

The difference is...

My way of thinking. Because when I first stepped off the plane ten months ago I was speechless and couldn't have imagined that any place on earth could be more different from the home I had just left than the place I was going to inhabit for the next ten months of my life. And it is different. And while I have tried to relate some of those differences to things that would have made sense to me when I left, I have not done a sufficient job at painting my picture. I cannot relate how I felt that Freetown quickly became my new home because I was able to relate my experiences there with my life here. I cannot relate how each day I learned new things from new experience because it took those new experiences to learn those new things.

The difference is...

Guess I'm still stuck with my original quandary. I will continue to try to decipher what people really want to know. Quick and painless or listen to my voice drone on while I wonder if my audience has grown bored with my endless stories.

The difference is...

Something I am still figuring out.

By Justin Wallace

I'm leaving on a jet plane

I remember singing this song before I left the states and now I am singing it again. However, in the states it was my mother who was crying and now it is me. Yes I am sitting here in an internet cafe-- in a country where showing emotion is not accepted-- crying, publicly no less.
This day is going to be a tough one for us. We had to say our final good-byes to Aunty Chris from Banta-- our mother, our friend, supporter, encouragement, the list goes on. Sometimes when I sit with Aunty Chris and listen to her I just think, do I really know her? I should be reading about her in a best-selling biography, and yet I am sitting here listening to her, and she considers me one of her dearest friends. I don't know how God has blessed me so, to meet this woman. And this is who I had to say good-bye to today. And next it's the kids.
We will be leaving for our debriefing tonight and from there we will leave to go to the airport. Last night we had our farewell. It was a touching program, and it was a blessing to see the appreciation of the people, to see some of the fruits of our labor.
I wish I had more to say but as soon as I start typing I starting crying again and my thoughts are a bit scattered. I just wanted to write one last blog from Sierra Leone. But I know that this will not be the last time I am here. I read in a book once that Africa has a way of getting under your skin and it gets in your blood, so much that you can never truly leave. I know now that this statement is true. And it's a funny thing, because I can't actually put my finger on it, but there's just something there that won't let me go.

So Africa, my Africa, you will forever be in my heart. As I go, may God watch over you and take care of you, may you look to Jesus for your salvation, may you always find rest and peace in his arms, and may you seek Him and follow Him with your whole heart.

I have loved and been loved

Yesterday we left Banta for the last time. That was probably the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is difficult to say goodbye here because I really don't know if I will ever see these people again. I pray to God that I will, but here, nothing is ever certain. One of the hardest things about leaving is not knowing if they will be okay. When we are here we can keep track of people and make sure they are being taken care of, but when we go we will be relying on other people to be our eyes, ears, and hands. While it was sad and there were many tears that were shed that day, there was a peace in knowing that we truly loved these people, and it hurt because it was good, a good thing happened in that place. We made an impact on these peoples lives as they did on ours. Those people were my mothers, my sisters, my brothers, and my children.
Yesterday was a taste of what is to come, when we finally leave the country I know that my heart will be being pulled and stretched and wrenched in so many directions. I ask that you please pray for both Sarah and I as we leave. Pray that the Lord would give us peace, that He will keep these people that we have loved as our own, He cares about them a million times more that we do. Pray that our family and friends would have patience with us as we make the transition back to our own culture. Pray that we would be able to take everything we've learned here and apply it to our lives in America and that we would allow God to change our lives in the way that He desires.
I don't think this will be that last blog entry, but in case it is I want to thank you all. I have been so humbled by your interest in the lives of the people I have met here, people that you don't even know. I challenge you to continue to pray for these people and COTN-Sierra Leone. It's amazing how God uses us sometimes. Sarah was saying the other day how our being here has effected so many people we don't even know, because our being here is effecting the people in our realm of influence, who then tell there realm of influence and the chain continues. So all this to say, that I appreciate all of you and I know that it is only by your prayers that this year has been so amazing for me.

This week we travelled back to Banta to complete some updates for our sponsorship program. I was recently telling a friend that every trip to Banta is unique unto itself. And this one was not without its own "uniqueness." We left for Freetown at about 8:00 in the morning. The first breakdown happened at the first police checkpoint(this is less than an hour into the trip). The alternator was not working correctly and so our battery was completely dead. They tried to charge the battery using a generator but after an hour of charging, it was still dead. So at about 11:00 we boarded a Public Transport vehicle which was to take us to Freetown! These vehicles are basically the frame of the vehicle with benches welded into them, not the most comfortable way to travel over bumpy, dirt roads. It's actually a miracle that these vehicles work at all. We had to stop numerous times with this vehicle too, the springs which are attached to the wheel came unattached(these are the shocks), the gas tube was blocked, the engine was over-heating, just to name a few! Let me tell you, I learned a lot about vehicles and how to "gerry-rig" them!!

So we finally made it back to the outside of Freetown at about 6:00. At this point the driver informed us that he actually wasn't going all the way into Freetown. So we boarded another vehicle that was supposed to take us all the way into town. But because of traffic this vehicle also said that he wasn't going to take us all the way to the destination. We ended up walking to the junction where a COTN vehicle was waiting for us! What a relief to finally reach! At about 8:00 we made it back to our house, tired and completely covered in red dust. But you know God's grace is amazing, here we are in this situation where we really should be frustrated and ready to just leave the country, but He gave me the extra patience and flexibility I needed to make it through the day. There have been many times this year when I have felt that I have reached the end of what I can handle, and God takes us a little bit further, but His grace is sufficient.

Also, I didn't mention, but we were also bringing back a child who we are taking into our home. So along with all these problems, we were dragging this poor child along with us! However, it was good initiation into the organization(we are always having car trouble)! She was exhausted and hungry by the time we arrived in Marjay Town.

Well, last week I celebrated my 24th birthday! Its odd when one of those milestones passes in a place where you feel that you've lost all sense of time! It's hard to believe that another whole year has passed!

To celebrate the day I took seven of the home children out for ice cream! Here are some of the pictures!

It's precious moments like this that make it all worth it...

I have told you about Brima Nyandemoh. He is the little boy that we kind of adopted from Banta during our time there in October. We also had him come visit for Christmas. If I had a bag big enough I would really try to smuggle this one home with me.

Background:

When we were in Banta in March, we were spending sometime in the village one day and Brima was with me. He was making the sign with his hands where he put his pointer finger and his pinky finger up, so I was teaching him the sign for love and I asked someone to translate what the word for love was in Mende.

The Real Story:

Brima had been very made at Sarah and I for not taking him back with us for the Easter holiday, so when we went to Banta last week he wouldn't even look at us, let alone greet us. Eventually, Mama Angie made him come sit with me, but he just sat on my lap as stiff as a board. After some time he forgot that he was mad and he wrapped my arms around him and began playing with my hands. As he was doing this he made my fingers make sign for love. It was one of those silent moments that I will carry with me forever, where the language and cultural barriers that stand between us were broken down and he knew that I loved him and I knew that he loved me. A few minutes later as I was taking a picture of him, he stuck his hand up to make the sign again.

The love of a mother must be so great if I can feel this way about this child who I have only known for a small time.

This last week we hosted the International President of COTN, along with his wife and son. It was a fast week completely packed with meetings, programs, tours, etc. You Americans like to pack your schedules full of things to do. I'm just kidding I know I do the same thing.

During this visit we travelled to Banta for two days. While there the school was having there annual sports day. The sports day is like a glorified field day, but they get really excited for it and everyone turns out to watch it. They divided the school into four teams which they call houses. There's Blue House-Dominican Republic, Red House- Malawi, Green House- Sierra Leone, and Yellow House-Uganda, each team representing a country that Cotn is involved in. Sarah was in Green House and I was in Blue House.

Some of the races are the typical 1,500 meter, or the 200 meter race, but they also have races where they balance things on their heads, and for the little ones they have a race where they carry a baby on their back in they typical way that the mothers carry their babies.

The end results were Yellow House coming in first, Blue House second(yeah!! they normally lose), Red House third and Green House last(sorry Sarah!). It was a beautiful day and the kids all had a great time!

A Week in Review

Well, maybe it's been the last few weeks. Have I ever told you that time doesn't really exist here-- last week, last three weeks, same thing!

A few weeks ago we were invited to the First Birthday of our Head Teacher's daughter. It was such a contrast to birthday parties I'm used to. Last year I went to the first birthday party of a little girl I used to take care of. It was a quiet afternoon party, mostly involving other young children, their parents, and watching all the little ones interacting with each other. However, in Sierra Leone, there was loud music, dancing, and even after we left, we could hear the music coming from the house late into the night! What a contrast!

Last weekend, Sarah and I went to a women's retreat with other ex-patriots. It was such a great weekend full of fellowship(which is hard to come by), time to reflect on life(which is hard to come by), and a lot of snack food(which is hard to come by)! The theme was, "Real Peace for Real Women," I know it's sounds a bit cheesy, but it was really great to get some good biblical teaching, true fellowship with other believers, and also to discuss some of the issues that we all face on a daily basis here. It was also just amazing to be with all these amazing women who come from all over the world, knowing that we all serve the same Great God.

This is the new American Embassy, and I really have nothing to say other than it's huge and ridiculous!